Saturday 9 January 2016

"Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with"





I try and live my life by this mantra every single day and I can honestly say I have never been happier...

Nothing proves this statement more to me than my friend Charlie. We lived together whilst I was studying in Falmouth and within a few days I was taping her nipples to her dress so she had a killer cleavage and lay in her bed comparing the length of our winter leg fuzz. I connected with her instantly as I did with all of the girls in my flat and for that reason they will always have a huge part of my heart and my soul. I often think of them and look at my Falmouth wall of photos fondly and smile.


Today I collected a parcel and recognised the writing on the envelope to be Charlie's, little did I know the contents of the package were going to make me sit in my car crying for the next ten minutes uncontrollably. Inside was a dress, a garment I had only heard about and seen in pictures but it had been promised to be so long ago I had forgotten. On this dress there were messages of equality, human rights, women's rights and basically everything that moulds me as a person. This dress is something that Charlie made before she met me yet it speaks directly to me and puts a fire in my belly like nothing else I have ever seen or been lucky enough to own.




It is for this reason that I truly believe it's Charlie and all of the powerful women in my life who are my soulmates and the true loves of my life. Nobody quite tells me to "fuck him off" or "rant away" when I'm angry about something, and then reply to my 35 message eruption, quite like Charlie. We have a friendship that is free of competition and free of jealousy. Every day I am motivated to be better and made sure I know how amazing and strong I am. It's completely free of motive and we do it purely out of our admiration for each other and I am inspired by her every single day.

My girlfriends will never judge me for wanting more than two sides with my nandos and then a cookie dough after or the fact that I haven't shaved my legs for weeks but insist on always wearing booty shorts to sleep in. They take me for champagne afternoon teas and tell me I am strong and sassy on a daily basis. What more could I possibly need?


Women need to stop searching for a "soulmate" in the form of a lover and start looking at those who love you unconditionally despite the fact you keep going back to those people time and time again. We need to stop searching for that missing piece and just rearrange the pieces we already have. I can guarantee if you look close enough at your lives you'll find your soul to already be so full and content that anything more is welcome but no where near as essential...

Love Liv x




No grope? You're all good then.




Apparently this is the only thing that constitutes something being considered sexually inappropriate behaviour. The worst part? This was a comment made by young women and not only women but women in the public eye.

That public eye being celebrity brother and the women in question being specifically Megan and Stephanie. Both of which are TV stars but often in the press sporting nothing more than a bikini or lingerie set. Is this merely a coincidence or could their opinions be fuelled by the idea that their careers are based on the sexualisation of their bodies and the acceptance of this behaviour on a daily basis because it's what their careers feed off? 




The issue in question was concerning Winston, a UKIP MP, who lasted only three days in the house. He was seen being very sexually charged during conversations with the women housemates and particularly Tiffany and Nancy. Arguably, Tiffany should have stood her ground earlier as he was seen being very suggestive to her during the first show, yet she laughed it off and took it almost as a compliment, continuing to fuel him. Here we see the issue with a lot of women today, it is not a compliment to be objectified and sexualised by a man even if it appears to be complimentary at first. If it's not welcomed or comfortable then it's not okay.


Yet the women of the group felt that despite Winston's constant inappropriate behaviour, including his predatory looks and actions towards Nancy in the bedroom whilst she was getting ready for bed, that a warning from big brother was not necessary because he "didn't grope anyone."



I find it hard to understand how this makes sense in people's minds. Just because you can't see some diseases doesn't mean they’re not there, so why is something only sexually inappropriate if it can be seen? Furthermore, how can something only be sexually inappropriate if it's "groping?" Surely every person who watched Winston undress Nancy with his eyes would agree that was in no way okay, especially when they have to live in such close proximity.

I think I was most offended by the girls almost acceptance of his behaviour and their shock at the idea of Nancy finding it uncomfortable. Could this be because they are in situations that could be deemed to be sexually inappropriate every time they're asked to do a photo shoot or an interview? For example, Megan and Stephanie's opening profile before they entered the house showed them in underwear luring at the camera, a concept which I found unnecessary and frankly uncomfortable as a viewer, as I felt this in no way defined who they were. I found it completely irrelevant and uncalled for.




This shows a clear contrast in people’s tolerance and views. We have to ask ourselves what we determine to be sexually inappropriate. And hopefully it's more than just groping or sexual skin to skin contact. It should be anything that makes us feel uncomfortable or anything that takes away our consent or control of the situation, not just a “grope.”


And just a side note Winston, just because you believe a woman to be “on the shop floor” it does not mean we are for sale.

Love Liv x