The Liebster Award!

Thank you so much to http://ruthiethursday.weebly.com/ for nominating me for this blogging award for new bloggers! I feel so blessed to have been given this nomination and overwhelmed to say the least!



 
Here are the questions that I was set by Ruth to answer...

 Why did you start blogging?  
- I began blogging in an attempt to free my words.

What inspires you most?
- My mother. She is without a doubt the most incredible woman on this earth.

Who is your role model?
- See above haha!

What is your favourite past time? 
- I love to sit infront of the fire watching orange is the new black or sex in the city.

Who is your favourite musician?
- Without a doubt Mr Ed Sheeran or Queen Bey.

How would you describe yourself in 3 words?
- This is so hard! Probably a "lot to handle."

What's is/was your favourite subject at school? 
- English, since my first day of nursery haha!

Do you have any strange talents?
- I can flatten my nose to look like Voldemort. (I can't believe I'm declaring this).
 
Where is your dream place to live/visit?
- A tour of south America or Africa are my dreams!

What is your main goal in life?
- To make a difference to somebody elses.

Can you tell me any random fun fact about you?
- My nostrils flare when I smile haha!





The questions I set for my nominees are:

1. Describe yourself using nothing but words that start with the letter "b."
2. Who is your favourite character in any novel you have read?
3. What is your deepest desire?
4. What do you hope to achieve from your blog?
5. What is your favourite quote by a famous female?
6. If you were any character in Sex in the City or Mean Girls who would you be and why?
7. Where do you see yourself being in ten years?
8. Which Disney princess/prince do you associate yourself with and why?
9. If you could change anything in your life what would it be?
10. Which song best describes your life?
11. Name a treasured memory and why it's so special.

I open my nomination to everybody who is scared to open up and bare their opinions for everybody to see, this is a perfect first blog post. Go for it!

 

 

Love Liv x

Failure is just an event, not a characteristic...

 

"Failure is just an event, not a characteristic..."

These beautiful words were said to me by an incredible woman who I recently met and within minutes she had changed my outlook and my life forever. And the best part of it is that she doesn't even realise the impact that she had, she was merely being herself. What an amazing woman!

For weeks I sat around in my Harry Potter pyjamas and baggy T-shirts contemplating if I had made the right decision. Before Christmas I made the choice to leave university and return home for the rest of the academic year. This did not come easy to me at all but I had a decision to make and still to this day I do not fully know if it was the right thing to do and this still terrifies me.  I began my term in Falmouth, Cornwall at the University of Exeter studying a degree in English. Whilst I undeniably have a huge love for literature and all that it offers, I could not help but feel a gap when I was sat in the lectures, as if something was missing. I constantly felt off centred and as if I had so much more to give.

I felt inspired by the literature, as I always have, but I had to decide if I was content with only ever experiencing a love of others work or whether I wanted my words and opinions to affect people in the way that Maya Angelou's "Still I rise" and Iyanla Vanzant's books do. There are moments when I feel that centeredness within me, like now for instance as I write these words, and this is how I know I did make the right choice for me. The clarification if it was right for my career is being impatiently anticipated!

I cannot deny that I felt more content than I ever had in Cornwall with regards to feeling loved and appreciated by those around me and the friends that I had made. I still wake up some mornings and expect to be able to have breakfast with my fally girls and snuggle in bed to watch episodes of One Tree Hill. It still hurts me that I no longer have them so close but I had to remember that I can always visit them there and regain the time lost but I would never get over spending three years studying there to find myself unemployable and unmotivated before I had even graduated.

If I'm being perfectly honest I think I found the realisation that I had made a mistake and failed was the hardest of all to reach. My entire life I had always succeeded in education from me being head girl to me exceeding in an exam to gain a place for my sixth form education. I did not know what it felt like to fail in education and this was the hardest reality to admit. It wasn't until it was pointed out to me by my momma that I wasn't even looking up when I walked that I realised something had to change. I had truly reached the bottom and I could feel myself desperately scavenging for confidence, something that had long disappeared from my life. I still feel as if I am climbing to reach the point of self-assurance that I once had "but still, like air, I rise."

I left Exeter University to pursue my dream elsewhere and every day I feel like I am one step closer to it. I once told my Mom that I "had to accept that I have limits" but now I see that I truly have no limits when I'm doing the thing that I love. 

Love Liv x

The "Mean Girl" mentality and the Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants...

 

"Queen Bee," "Mean Girl" and "Basic Bitch." Does this sound familiar?

All of these names and references to women have all been developed from inside our own gender. How crazy is it that the names that offend and tear down women were actually created and actively enforced by women? Women and especially young girls seemed to have developed this 'Mean Girl mentality' and see it as their only way to truly succeed and be accepted by themselves and society.

I first thought of it this way when I was picking up my brother from school last week. My Momma turned to me and said "He's so lucky to have such a good group of friends," I agreed and she continued to ask "Don't you wish you had that?" I was struck with a realisation that a group of friends like that doesn't happen with girls, and if it does its very short lived, why is that? I accept that I was a real nightmare in High School especially with regards to my self-righteousness and the way in which I embodied the 'Mean Girl mentality' at its finest. I completely understand why I had no long term friendships but when I look back I don't understand how so many girls never found a solid friendship group like my brother has. Minutes later I turned to her and said "girls are just so competitive." And this is exactly it...

Whether its evolutionary or just survival of the fittest, women see each other as competitors. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie put it perfectly in her speech that features in Beyoncé's flawless, "We raise girls to see each other as competitors. Not for jobs or for accomplishments which I think can be a good thing. But for the attention of men." And this is exactly the problem. Women aren't striving to be the best in their field of work or to make the most difference, they're stealing each others light to brighten their own. These women stand in a single file line, pushing and overtaking each other to be the leader of this line and for the light to shine directly on them, never looking over their shoulders in case the light were to shine on another. Women of the Sisterhood stand side by side holding back to allow the light to shine on another who needs it more because they know that they would do the same for them. This openness and trust is something that the women of today are lacking.

A Sisterhood is often thought to be a group of insane feminists who moan that "The more famous and powerful I get the more power I have to hurt men." Which is a genuine quote from Sharon Stone and expresses the exact reason why people think feminists are crazy women who protest against having to shave their armpits and wear bras. But this couldn't be farther from the truth. A Sisterhood is about respect for the gender and a personal independence that is never challenged. No matter how much women fight this instinctive force to be 'Mean Girl minded' they cannot deny its power forever.

This force is the reason that we are so emotionally affected by shows such as Sex in the City and Orange is the New Black. It's why we find tears falling uncontrollably when Miranda sacrifices her wedding celebrations to talk about Samantha's cancer diagnosis in SATC. Similarly, this inner Sisterhood is the source of the warm feeling we get when we see the different ethnic groups bringing offerings as condolences for Trisha's death in OITNB. These uncontrollable reactions occur because it touches that inner Sister within all of us and shows us the potential we have and what we can truly offer to the female gender. So forget that 'Mean Girl mentality' and share your light, did the Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants teach you nothing?!

It's always better to be a Sister in the shade than a leader in the light...

Love Liv x

 

 

Bring Back Borstal.

I have always been a real geek for a social experiment. It all began when I came across Zimbardo whilst studying A level Psychology and became obsessed with his prison study. Especially the way in which a social experiment reveals the fragility of our mental state and how easily our personality and attitude can be moulded and changed without our consent. So of course I was instantly drawn to this social experiment, during which young offenders are given the experience of a stay in an early 1900's Borstal and all that this entails. This experiment not only reveals the cracks in societies foundations but it exposes our failures for everybody to look upon. It truly affected me and moved me to see these young boys truly failed by the system.

A Borstal was the 1900's answer to the young offenders of society. It was an institute where education and physical exercise were compulsory and so was work. Routine was key to the running of this place and it taught the males the meaning of a hard days work. When Borstals were in force 7 out of 10 of the offenders never went on to offend ever again in their life, a truly astounding figure when today nearly 73% of young offenders reoffend within twelve months. So what is going so massively wrong for these figures to be so different when we are currently in an expanding world? I am not saying that these Borstals weren't damaging for the boys who were imprisoned here but surely it cannot be worse than the offenders victims lives after they are released for their crimes and simply choose to not change and then go on to damage more peoples lives. We have a duty within society to allow people to be the best they can be and the current correctional and judiciary system clearly is not allowing this or ensuring that this happens.

The participants of this experiment are all offenders who between them have a total of 60 convictions and a number of them have spent time in an adult prison for their offences. There is one participant who is defined as a "slob" by the Governor of the Borstal as he chose prison time for his crime of fraud over community service because he thought it would be "easier." To me, this is inexcusable and prison should never be the better alternative no matter what. Another participant speaks of his time in a young offenders institute as "a laugh" and finds that a week in a Borstal "drags" in comparison with his time imprisoned as that "flew by." He continues to declare that being imprisoned "didn't feel like punishment" but he feels that one week in this institute has. How can we expect these males to want to make a change to their lives when they don't even feel they have been punished for their crimes? It's an impossible task.

Rule, pictured left, chooses to leave the Borstal after days of being part of the experiment. Yet it is revealed that he does not return to his cannabis, which is his parting word to the camera, instead he starts working in landscape gardening. This being a profession that he first encountered in his days at the Borstal. Also see the Kearney brothers pictured also who have both spent time imprisoned for their crime, see more of their story below.

What truly moved me was an inmate who was imprisoned with his brother for their crime of bodily harm, using golf clubs as their weapon of choice. The older brother served two years in an adult jail and his first child was born whilst he was serving his time. You would think this in itself would be enough to give you a reason to change but still he finds himself being verbally abusive to the matron in residence and destroying the property resulting in him being placed in isolation for his actions. This in itself does not seem like tear inducing footage but then you see him playing rugby as part of a team and actually taking a hard hitting tackle with grace. At the end of the game he even asks his teammates to applaud the opposition and he is the first to shake hands with the other men. This person could not be further from the young boy we are presented with at the start of the show and this was only a week after entering the experiment. What kind of difference could be made in a month or six weeks? It's truly remarkable and I cannot wait for this weeks episode!

I say Bring Back Borstal and change the lives of young offenders and their victims for good. 
 

Love Liv x

- Bring Back Bortal is on ITV Thursday at 9pm and catch last weeks episode on demand here https://www.itv.com/itvplayer/bring-back-borstal

Fat Friends, Pints and Gallons.

The concept of being or having a "fat friend" is a concept that me and my momma devised from sourcing our own personal experiences and hearing numerous anecdotes from friends and peers. However it has to be noted that being a "fat friend" has nothing to do with weight, although sometimes this is the targeted quality, it's any insecurity or abnormality that you might have. This characteristic is then noted and you're seen as a target to be invested in for friendship. All because you won't be seen as competition for attention from prospective men/women, leaving all of the attention on your so called "friend" for them to enjoy.
Although at first look this theory can look quite Darwinian and as if it's 'survival of the fittest,' and very predator and prey. As harsh as this seems, it's the harsh reality of how some friendships are formed in the modern world by modern people. Have you ever left your friend at the bar with a promise that you'll be five minutes with the guy you just met and not returned within twenty? or have you been the person left at the bar? This is an example of having/being a fat friend and a perfect example of how they are used without a second thought. I find this so frustrating as women have stood and depended upon each other for strength as they fought for their gender to be noticed and now they are fighting each other and destroying each other in order to get themselves noticed. It's quite sad really as it feels as if we are almost regressing when this is the time for us to be progressing without a need for fat friends to enable personal gains.
 

A fat friend is a person who would sacrifice their own attention from the only guy who's given them a second look all night in order to search the nine rooms of the club to find the person who smiled at their friend in the queue outside. These people are the gallon people whilst the friends who use them for their advantage are merely pints. Bishop T.D Jakes speaks of the concept of Pints and Gallons in an audience with Oprah. "When you are a 10-gallon person and you want love, you want it on a 10-gallon level," he says. "But if you fool around and hook up with a pint person, they could be giving you all that they have -- sincerely giving you everything, but it doesn't fill you up, because you're bigger than that." Does a pint ever truly quench your thirst? Surely not, you're always left wanting a little bit more.

So don't settle for being half quenched, flood yourself with gallon people and hydrate and nurture your soul fat friends.

Love Liv x

Are you a #GIRLBOSS?

" A #GIRBOSS takes her life seriously without taking herself too seriously. She takes chances and takes responsibility on her own terms. She knows when to throw punches and when to roll with them. When to button up and when to let her freak flag fly."


I am OBSESSED with this book and Sophia Amoruso herself. She is the founder and CEO of Nasty Gal, an online fashion retail empire,but she started off on Ebay because she needed some extra cash. In fact the first thing she ever sold was a book that she had stolen. She truly is proof that if you work hard enough you can achieve your dream.

" A #GIRLBOSS is in charge of her own life. She gets what she wants because she works for it." Being a #GIRLBOSS is something that I had long strived for before I had been gifted this book by my momma. Although it had been camped out in my Amazon wish list for months previous to this I had no idea that being a #GIRLBOSS is everything that I strive for, and work for in my life. The term #GIRLBOSS is a reasoning for women and girls everywhere that were ever told they were "too loud" or "too opinionated" or the dreaded word "bossy." It's a declaration that these women are often assertive and knowledgeable with a passion and a voice that needs to be heard. I, myself, was often called "bossy" from a young age because I wanted to be the teacher when we played schools and I always wanted to be the choreographer and be centre stage when we made up dances and performed them. I grew up thinking that it was wrong to want to be the head of the group all the time and to always be the one to talk in group presentations. It's only due to my momma's encouragement of me forming my own assertions and observations and to have the confidence to voice them that I didn't lose this "bossiness," or as I now prefer to call it, my #GIRLBOSS attitude.

The idea of the term "bossiness" being a label for confident girls was referred to in Emma Watsons speech at the EU for her "He for She" campaign. A speech which if you haven't seen you must immediately watch, it was most definitely a 2014 highlight for me and gives me goose bumps every time without fail. Within this speech she talks about when she was younger and she would want to direct the plays she would perform with her siblings or friends. She could not understand why her male peers were applauded for their leadership whilst she watched girls being downtrodden and discouraged. This is something I'm sure all women have experienced in their lives, some more than others, but nevertheless it's still an issue which has to be tackled. These confident girls are not "bossy" they are merely #GIRLBOSSES, who have opinions and ideas and know that they deserve to have them heard.
 

Another reason for my admiration for this book and indeed Sophia herself, is her honesty. She openly declares that she is not a "rags to riches" story. She actually expresses negativity and almost anger towards this idea and the way in which it discredits the years of hard work she did to get to where she is today, She makes it so clear that, despite what the press have said, she did not become a CEO of her own company and worth millions overnight. She speaks of how she spent her teens hitchhiking and reflects on the beauty of a dumpster bagel, which apparently you can't knock until you've tried it! This sheer openness about the ugly side of following your dreams is something that is not often explored and is very human. Something that I appreciated deeply after years of reading and hearing motivational speeches of how if you want something bad enough and try your very hardest you can get it. In reality, you could try your hardest and want something with every cell in your body and still not get it, this if life. Sophia expresses these harsh truths with humour and almost motivation. You are left wanting to be that one person that wants and tries with every inch of their being to achieve their dreams and reach their potential. This being an aim that all people and indeed women should be encouraged to aim for.
 
She truly is the modern woman. Powerful, assertive and her own boss. She is a woman to be reckoned with and definitely my inspiration on a daily basis. I believe there is a little bit of #GIRLBOSS within all of us, the key is to find the way to best unleash it in order to get what you really want.

 
Love Liv x

 

 

Welcome to my blog...

Hello there...

I am completely new to this blogging thing but it has been recommended to me by so many people that I've made the resolution to begin this venture and stick to it. I am currently working as a tutor at Explore Learning whilst I wait to begin university again in September studying English language and International relations. It is truly gratifying to be part of Explore Learning as they are such an amazing company who strive to educate and influence children's learning in an extremely positive way.

I have lived in Oldbury just outside Birmingham my entire life and although at times my postcode does hold me back, I try to not allow it to. I always try to stay true to my roots and be proud of where I grew up, however at times this can be hard! I am just a person trying to make their mark so please stay tuned to read about my opinions, beliefs and ideas. Hope you're as excited as I am to start this journey!

Love Liv x