The "Mean Girl" mentality and the Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants...

 

"Queen Bee," "Mean Girl" and "Basic Bitch." Does this sound familiar?

All of these names and references to women have all been developed from inside our own gender. How crazy is it that the names that offend and tear down women were actually created and actively enforced by women? Women and especially young girls seemed to have developed this 'Mean Girl mentality' and see it as their only way to truly succeed and be accepted by themselves and society.

I first thought of it this way when I was picking up my brother from school last week. My Momma turned to me and said "He's so lucky to have such a good group of friends," I agreed and she continued to ask "Don't you wish you had that?" I was struck with a realisation that a group of friends like that doesn't happen with girls, and if it does its very short lived, why is that? I accept that I was a real nightmare in High School especially with regards to my self-righteousness and the way in which I embodied the 'Mean Girl mentality' at its finest. I completely understand why I had no long term friendships but when I look back I don't understand how so many girls never found a solid friendship group like my brother has. Minutes later I turned to her and said "girls are just so competitive." And this is exactly it...

Whether its evolutionary or just survival of the fittest, women see each other as competitors. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie put it perfectly in her speech that features in Beyoncé's flawless, "We raise girls to see each other as competitors. Not for jobs or for accomplishments which I think can be a good thing. But for the attention of men." And this is exactly the problem. Women aren't striving to be the best in their field of work or to make the most difference, they're stealing each others light to brighten their own. These women stand in a single file line, pushing and overtaking each other to be the leader of this line and for the light to shine directly on them, never looking over their shoulders in case the light were to shine on another. Women of the Sisterhood stand side by side holding back to allow the light to shine on another who needs it more because they know that they would do the same for them. This openness and trust is something that the women of today are lacking.

A Sisterhood is often thought to be a group of insane feminists who moan that "The more famous and powerful I get the more power I have to hurt men." Which is a genuine quote from Sharon Stone and expresses the exact reason why people think feminists are crazy women who protest against having to shave their armpits and wear bras. But this couldn't be farther from the truth. A Sisterhood is about respect for the gender and a personal independence that is never challenged. No matter how much women fight this instinctive force to be 'Mean Girl minded' they cannot deny its power forever.

This force is the reason that we are so emotionally affected by shows such as Sex in the City and Orange is the New Black. It's why we find tears falling uncontrollably when Miranda sacrifices her wedding celebrations to talk about Samantha's cancer diagnosis in SATC. Similarly, this inner Sisterhood is the source of the warm feeling we get when we see the different ethnic groups bringing offerings as condolences for Trisha's death in OITNB. These uncontrollable reactions occur because it touches that inner Sister within all of us and shows us the potential we have and what we can truly offer to the female gender. So forget that 'Mean Girl mentality' and share your light, did the Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants teach you nothing?!

It's always better to be a Sister in the shade than a leader in the light...

Love Liv x